Wishful Thinking…

moonblack

We had a supermoon this weekend. That is when the moon is at it’s fullest and also it’s nearest to earth. We’ve had cloudy skies for days now so I wasn’t very hopeful that I would catch a glimpse but last night at about 12 o’clock the clouds parted and there she was! Sitting serenely atop a shining raft of silver cloud, not necessary the biggest moon I’ve ever seen but most certainly the brightest. We stood in the back yard and gazed for a good few minutes and I came back to bed feeling a little dazzled.

I’ve been moping around for the last few days feeling all weepy now that my maternity leave is almost over. I keep having to remind myself that it’s only three days a week and I am not sending my child away forever, merely dropping her off at a very lovely and capable child minder’s. Still, I have moments when I am unreasonably tearful whilst changing a nappy or wiping sticky paws covered in banana.

It’s at times like this, when a situation feels out of my control, that I wonder about Fate, or a higher being, or God. I have not been brought up to be religious but I’m pretty open minded. Faith can be a dangerous thing but it can also be  wonderful.  It is human nature to want to feel in control, believing in a being more powerful than ourselves is comforting and gives us a focus, a prayer, a mantra. It keeps us hopeful that by the repetition of words and ceremony we may yet be deemed worthy of a reprise. The words are within our power to speak, even if we believe the ultimate decision is not.

In my own way I suppose I do believe in Fate, because I make wishes. I have done since I was a child. I swear when I was young, everything I wished for came true. That may be because I had a very settled, happy childhood and my wishes were for small things that would no doubt manifest at some point anyway. Or maybe I was just spoiled.

Throughout my life I have picked up little bits from a lot of different faiths, folklore, and fairy stories. I really like the idea of an item holding power and bringing luck. I think that any object can become a talisman. It is a focus for your energy and through sheer force of will, anyone can instill power into the most ordinary looking thing. Even if it’s purely psychological, it’s still effective as a focus for manifesting what you want.

I guess I need to be clear, I do not use the term ‘manifestation’ in the same way that books like ‘The Secret’ do. I’ve read it, even tried out the techniques. It did not sit comfortably with me. I had real trouble imagining that what I wanted to happen was already happening, without once sparing a thought for how it was going to happen. ‘The Secret’ requires you to be very blinkered to any thoughts or feelings that don’t directly lead you to your goal, you must keep up an exhaustive mantra of positivity and never waver from it. I just don’t have the will power, or single mindedness, depending on how you look at it.

pinkbee

What I have is a wishing bee and a wishing bowl. I have a lovely golden bumblebee from Alex Monroe and an alabaster bowl that looks like the moon. I put the golden bee into the bowl, make a wish and go to bed. Then the next day I wear the bee and I feel much better. It’s as simple as that. It’s a little ritual, a little bit of innocent hoping. It makes me feel like I’ve had a bit of a helping hand to get through something. Whether my wishes come true is for me to know…

Love Susie xxx

Advertisements